Sa Kabukiran : The Lolita B. Lapid Memorial Hall In Memory of Her: Celebrating the First Death Anniversary of Mommy

As I've written in other articles in this blog, the idea of building something to remember mommy came from my father. Then I told the idea to my siblings who agreed on the idea. In December 2013, my sister Beth gave an initial seed money to start the project. Her donation gave the important impetus to start the project. Eventually, my Dad, encouraged by what my sister Beth has done, gave his commitment to start the project.

It isn't at all surprising that people who have lost someone dear to them build or create something to perpetuate the memory of a beloved departed. When you think of great buildings to serve as memorials like the Taj Mahal, one couldn't keep wondering why people spend so much resources to put up such structures in memory of a beloved departed. Now that I and my family have ourselves experienced this deep loss of a beloved, we now understand what it means to grieve for someone so dear. Perpetuating her memory by putting up something simply becomes so natural and consoling at the same time. The death of my mother left a gaping hole in all our hearts since she left us. To this day, we still grieve over her demise. But I’m sure, time will heal and make us accept the reality that she is no longer with us and that she is now in a better place where she is very happy, with God, his angels and all his saints.

The structure we've built for my mom’s memorial is designed like a kubo. This is also in keeping with Sa Kabukiran’s theme of being a Filipino Eco-friendly farm. But while maintaining its “kubo” feel, it is designed more like a tropical modern house. This means that while it has the features of a kubo, its modern features and fusion of traditional Filipino elements make it a tropical modern house. I have myself designed this house. Just like all the structures Sa Kabukiran, I have done all the designing and landscaping. I was intent on designing a tropical modern house that will serve both as a memorial house and an all purpose structure which can be used also for gatherings like seminars, meals and special occasions. But more importantly, I wanted to build a structure that will tell the story of my beloved mother, so that people who may come and use the place will know her and her story.

I have divided the space and the structure of this memorial into four parts namely, the front yard, the foyer, the main hall and finally the back and surrounding yard. So let me tell the story of each of these parts.

The Front Yard

The front yard facing the memorial house is roughly about 50 sq. meters. Prominent in this yard is a yellow Chinese bamboo. This bamboo has beautiful yellow bamboo stalks. I planted this as a single stalk back in 2010. Now it has created several shoots which are almost 10 to 12 meters high. I have trimmed the bamboo so that its beautiful stalks can be seen clearly. On this front yard, I have placed colored pebbles to surround this bamboo. These pebbles have this beautiful muted orange tones that are simply perfect to create a sea-like image of pebbles similar to zen gardens. These pebbles are called Mindanao Yellow stones. I guess, they come from Mindanao. I haven’t seen such stones anywhere here in Pampanga or in Luzon. But they are just perfect for the place. On top of these pebbles are some ten brown boulders which I have taken from the hillsides and foot of Mt. Arayat. I understand that Mt. Arayat used to be an active volcano. The presence of these boulders lying on the hillsides of Mt. Arayat simply indicates that there once was a time when Mt. Arayat spewed out these boulders from its top and are now randomly strewn along its edges.

The yellow Chinese bamboo represents the barrio and rural roots of my mother. My mother was born in San Antonio, Lubao, Pampanga. Back then, San Antonio was quite a remote barrio far from the Poblacion. There were no paved roads leading to that barrio. It was in this obscure little barrio where my mother was born.

The stones, the boulders and the stone pavement while beautiful to look at symbolize the rocky start of mommy’s life. She was not only born from a poor family. She also started life with a life threatening illness. When she was born, she contracted pneumonia. At that time, such illness was almost a death sentence especially for a new born child, considering the unavailability of medical services. My mom used to tell us that her folks have given up hope for her recovery to the point that some barrio folks were already preparing for her funeral by slaughtering a pig in order to prepare for the meals that they were supposed to serve visitors during her wake. It was at these hopeless moments when my mom’s parents were advised to pray and seek the intercession of St. Anthony of Padua, the patron saint of the barrio for her miraculous recovery. Hoping against hope, my grandmother did just that. She went to the barrio chapel of San Antonio and there prayed to the saint for my mom’s miraculous healing. She also made a vow that if her daughter lived, she would be a devotee to him for all her life.

Miraculously, my mother was healed. She got well. The preparations for her wake stopped and she lived to see another 82 years! True to her vow to St. Anthony my grandmother dressed my mom with the habit of St. Anthony – a brown dress with a white cincture, symbolic of the friar’s belt with three knots.

Ever since her childhood, my mom wore the habit of St. Anthony not only on Sundays but everyday, at play, in school, at home, everywhere! It was only when she became a teenager that she began wearing the habit only during Sundays.