Something for you Mommy (Part 2)

I've been very busy lately. But despite my busy schedule, I have been so much pre-occupied with the construction of Mommy’s memorial “kubo.” Actually the idea of putting up a memorial came from my Dad who one day told me of his wish to build something in memory of Mommy. His idea of a memorial was simple and modest at first – not really something big. But what started out as a simple and modest idea evolved into something I’ve never thought would become big. Then during our Christmas party back in December of 2013, my sister Beth took Dad’s idea of building something for mommy seriously. On that Christmas day, she gave an initial donation to the project. At that time, it still  wasn’t clear to me what kind of memorial to build for my mom. Eventually, however, sometime in February 2014, I suggested the idea of building a memorial hall. This hall can be used as a venue for training and seminars. Mommy was a teacher by profession. She taught in different public schools until the time came when she was asked by Dad to manage the bakery. She will be remembered in this hall as a teacher not only in school but a teacher in life, teaching wisdom through her kindness and love in her heart. Mommy taught us our first prayers. She also taught us to love one another, to be caring and concerned for one another. Therefore, this hall will remind us and the people who use it, of her loving legacy as a teacher in school and at home.

Now, as you can see from the pictures posted here, the hall that will be dedicated to her is slowly rising. I have selected the best place Sa Kabukiran as the site of this memorial hall. The place is surrounded by a lagoon. On the lagoon are three small islands surrounding the entire hall. From the hall, one can see also a view of Mt. Arayat. The design of the hall is not your typical “kubo.” However, it is inspired by the kubo. It shall have a thatched roof. Flooring will be made of vigan tiles. Instead of walls, clear glass windows will be installed to allow a clear view of the beautiful surroundings. Calados or “dinukit” wood carvings will surround the entire hall installed above the clear doors and windows. An ante room or a lobby will house her picture and the various paintings of Cindy and Dad who will do some paintings about her. A pond will be placed in front of this hall where we can put some koi fish and some beautiful floating lotus plants. This pond will remind us of our own pond way back then, in that garden where we used to play as young children. There in that pond were a number of koi fishes. We used to feed those fishes with some of the bread taken from Mom’s bakery. The incorporation of the pond into this structure will make us remember her especially on how we used to throw bread together to feed the lovely colorful koi fishes on the pond.

Hopefully, when the structure finishes, this edifice will be a reflection of her beauty and the calming spirit she always had in life. It will be a place where people will learn both knowledge and wisdom. But most of all, it will be a place where people will sense her loving and gentle presence enshrined in this beautiful place Sa Kabukiran. 

Something for you Mommy!

Last year in June 27, my mother died. She just turned 82 years old when she died. She had suffered from dementia – something like Alzheimer disease. By the time she died, she barely could recognize anyone of us in the family. At the last few days of her life, she could no longer chew her food. Perhaps, her illness has also taken from her, her memory on how to eat. Dementia is a degenerative disease which starts in the brain. Slowly, the patient loses control of his cognitive faculties. In the process, the patient loses his memory of almost everything. People who have had relatives who suffered from such disease know how difficult it is for both the sick individual and for relatives to cope up with such disease. For us her children, the experience of seeing mommy suffer from it was both humbling and painful. As we grew up, Mommy had been such a great mother. She was hardworking, very caring and very loving. She was a kind woman, gentle, prayerful and very much serene and peaceful even in the midst of difficult times. She sacrificed hard. We were witnesses to the great sacrifices she had to put up with in order for us to live comfortably well. To see such a wonderful mother suffering from the devastating effects of Alzheimers was indeed painful for all of us. To this day, I still grieve over her death. Sometimes I think that she didn’t deserve to suffer that way, after all the great sacrifices she made in her life. But I guess, God has his own reasons for allowing such suffering. One day, we too will be gone in the way God has lovingly planned our lives to end. 

At this point, I and my family are building a memorial “kubo” or hut Sa Kabukiran to remember her. I guess, many people who have suffered the loss of a loved one build structures to remember their beloved ones. Memorials will stand as loving testaments to the lives of those who left us. But more than just being remembrances, memorials really speak more of the grief of those who were left behind. My family and I continue to grieve over the loss of my mother. Perhaps building a memorial in her honor simply indicates the depth of our grief and loss over one who has indeed given and dedicated her life for our sake. Memorials are testaments to our refusal to forget the lives of those who have lived unforgettable lives. They are also concrete testaments to our refusal to let the memories of their lives simply fade away in time. We won’t forget you mommy. We shall build this memorial to let people know how much we love you and how much you’ve loved us.

(Shown in this page are two paintings done by Cindy, my sister. One is the madonna and child painted against a bright blue background. It is an apt symbol for mommy who has been a wonderful mother to all of us. The other painting is a fully grown tree. The branches represent each of us. She is represented by this bright fuschia flame, ever beautiful and ever warm. These paintings are studies that Cindy has made for this planned memorial kubo to be rendered either in stained glass or simply as paintings that are symbolic of our loving memories of mommy. )

A Fish Called Milagrosa

It was April 17, 2014 Maundy Thursday when some of Sa Kabukiran’s workers were able to catch a big fish. It was so big, it measured at least one and half feet in length. We didn’t know at first what fish it was, so we called it “Milagrosa” because it seemed like a miracle fish which simply grew out of this humble pond. 

The fishpond Sa Kabukiran is a man-made lagoon. It used to be part of a waterlogged rice field. The first earthworks done Sa Kabukiran was to dig out this waterlogged area to create the present lagoon and carve out two small islands, one in the middle and one on the north eastern side of the lake. Sometime June 2010, some tilapia fish fries were released on the fishpond.  Milagrosa was not a tilapia. That’s why I called it a miracle fish, wondering how on earth did it even get there. But Milagrosa is not the only specie of fish that is surprisingly present there. We have also caught some mudfish – “bulig” in Kapampangan or “dalag “ in tagalog. Some “hito” or catfish. We even have turtles in the pond, some mussels and even some janitor fish! And of course, we have tilapia. 

For some strange reason these variety of sea creatures have found their home in this pond carved out in the middle of a rice field. Well, in Tagalog, we call these strangers “singaw” which means literally, “to ooze out” or “bubble out” since apparently, they just oozed out or bubbled out into existence. When there is such diversity, it just means that the pond itself is able to sustain such diversity! The pond is an organic pond, we use no fertilizers or artificial feeds to feed the fishes. No wonder therefore that so much diversity has oozed or bubbled out of this pond!

Later in the day, we found out that Milagrosa was what ordinary folks called a “common fish.” Well, I really don’t know if they are right or wrong. I haven’t seen myself a common fish that big in my life. Well, anyway, let’s just keep calling her Milagrosa! Who knows one day, we might be in for another miraculous catch and be able to catch a “dyesebel” or a siren in this life-friendly pond. And if ever we’ll find a “dyesebel” someday, it might not be a bad idea at all to call her “Anne” (Yes, like Anne Curtis?) (Some barrio folks have created this tale about this pond saying that when the moon is full, a siren comes out of the pond, sits down on one of the islands and begins to sing a song. I asked them what song does the siren sing during full moon? They told me that the siren sings Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance on a clear full moon. Well, I would love to hear that song one day being sung by our very own siren on the lagoon while the moon is full!)

The End of the Four Part Bible Seminar on Jesus Sa Kabukiran

May 17 was the last day of the four part bible seminar on Jesus Sa Kabukiran. Participants came from the parishes of Mabalacat, Guagua, Lubao and Calulut in San Fernando. This seminar was conducted in four consecutive Saturdays beginning April 26 – May 17. Judging from the participants’ evaluation of the seminar, I believe that the seminar was able to reach its objective of letting Jesus be known more deeply by the participants. I guess, they will bring home with them their own reflections of who Jesus is for them in their lives. 

As one who has facilitated these seminars, I am simply humbled by the realizations that I had while giving these seminars. The gospels were more than written traditions of the early followers of Jesus. The basic traditions that the early Christians had of Jesus was that he lived among them while preaching about the kingdom of God. Then, he suffered rejection and was crucified and died on the cross, and that he rose again from the dead on the third day. These were basically the primitive traditions of the early followers of Jesus. But as time went by, these traditions gradually evolved into something more than mere traditions. Early Christian communities eventually reflected on the life of Jesus and allowed these reflections to shed light into their own particular contexts and situations. Eventually these reflections found their way incorporated and written into what we now call as Gospels. 

It is in this sense that I find these Gospels in a way revolutionary for their times. Their community reflections became part of the Jesus story that we now know. For us living in the present where the Jesus of history seems so far and remote, with a time difference of more than two thousand years, our experience of Jesus should not be any different from those of the early Christians of the early centuries. Jesus is alive and is present as he has always been. Reflecting on his life and allowing that life to cast its bright light on our own situations and life contexts gives us the chance to write about our own experiences of Him who is life and light to our times. Indeed, each of us can write another Gospel about Jesus seeing him with fresh eyes and living with him in the here and now.