Something for you Mommy!

Last year in June 27, my mother died. She just turned 82 years old when she died. She had suffered from dementia – something like Alzheimer disease. By the time she died, she barely could recognize anyone of us in the family. At the last few days of her life, she could no longer chew her food. Perhaps, her illness has also taken from her, her memory on how to eat. Dementia is a degenerative disease which starts in the brain. Slowly, the patient loses control of his cognitive faculties. In the process, the patient loses his memory of almost everything. People who have had relatives who suffered from such disease know how difficult it is for both the sick individual and for relatives to cope up with such disease. For us her children, the experience of seeing mommy suffer from it was both humbling and painful. As we grew up, Mommy had been such a great mother. She was hardworking, very caring and very loving. She was a kind woman, gentle, prayerful and very much serene and peaceful even in the midst of difficult times. She sacrificed hard. We were witnesses to the great sacrifices she had to put up with in order for us to live comfortably well. To see such a wonderful mother suffering from the devastating effects of Alzheimers was indeed painful for all of us. To this day, I still grieve over her death. Sometimes I think that she didn’t deserve to suffer that way, after all the great sacrifices she made in her life. But I guess, God has his own reasons for allowing such suffering. One day, we too will be gone in the way God has lovingly planned our lives to end. 

At this point, I and my family are building a memorial “kubo” or hut Sa Kabukiran to remember her. I guess, many people who have suffered the loss of a loved one build structures to remember their beloved ones. Memorials will stand as loving testaments to the lives of those who left us. But more than just being remembrances, memorials really speak more of the grief of those who were left behind. My family and I continue to grieve over the loss of my mother. Perhaps building a memorial in her honor simply indicates the depth of our grief and loss over one who has indeed given and dedicated her life for our sake. Memorials are testaments to our refusal to forget the lives of those who have lived unforgettable lives. They are also concrete testaments to our refusal to let the memories of their lives simply fade away in time. We won’t forget you mommy. We shall build this memorial to let people know how much we love you and how much you’ve loved us.

(Shown in this page are two paintings done by Cindy, my sister. One is the madonna and child painted against a bright blue background. It is an apt symbol for mommy who has been a wonderful mother to all of us. The other painting is a fully grown tree. The branches represent each of us. She is represented by this bright fuschia flame, ever beautiful and ever warm. These paintings are studies that Cindy has made for this planned memorial kubo to be rendered either in stained glass or simply as paintings that are symbolic of our loving memories of mommy. )